Oh Hey, Monterey

On Candlelight & Not Worrying So Damn Much


The other night, Max and I sat down at the dining table grinning. We did it. We’re done. It’s over!

The past few months have been hectic to say the least. We had no idea what we were going to do, where we would end up. And here we are. 

Before writing this post, I read an article by Joanna on A Cup of Jo called “How to Stop Worrying So Damn Much.” It turns out we’d been unwittingly following her advice all along — and we weren’t worrying as much as I would’ve expected given the circumstances.

“Don’t think too much about your life after dinnertime.”

It’s been radio silence over here as Max and I had a lot to figure out (and no, we still haven’t planned our wedding yet!). Our months had gotten pretty hectic and although we felt overwhelmed, we made time for each other sitting at the dining table lighting candles, and dare I say relaxing, amidst the chaos. 

Sure, some nights the anxiety would creep in and I’d go on a bit of a post-dinner rant; reiterating our plan over and over again (it helps to repeat yourself, no?). But for the most part, we let go of our stress and allowed ourselves to stop worrying; the candlelit table the unspoken cut-off.

Since November, our landlords had been courting the idea of selling our rental in Carmel. There were appointments, tours, and open houses, each week and most weekends. There were miscommunications, conflicting timelines, and multiple buyers who fell through late in their contingencies— one who wanted us out within 45 days, sending us on a tailspin to find a new rental in a tough market.

As we toured apartments and moving boxes piled up we ordered take out, lit candles, and counted our lucky stars that we had the flexibility, privilege, (and desire) to move time after time.

After months of searching, we found a rental that checked off all of our boxes. It’s some three hours north, in a new (to us) part of the Bay Area we haven’t explored much.

Sure, the move was rushed, unplanned, and a bit too soon. And yes, moving is never cheap. But in the end, it was worth it to get out of a situation that was taxing on our day-to-day and to be able to “move” on with our lives. 

This past week we settled into our new home, in Marin County, California. It has been one of the less stressful moves we’ve experienced and I have to think a major part of that stems from the semblance of normalcy we found by making time for one another, eating dinner by candlelight. 

A special thanks to Vermont Farm Table who custom crafted our dining table to fit our needs and expectations. It surpassed them both. Yes, we had hoped to stay in Carmel longer. But for the dinners we did make, I am grateful; of dinner parties, of spilt soup, and of accumulated wax that now serves to remind me of all our evening conversations that lasted wonderfully too long. Regardless of all the outside stresses we endure, I will try to remember the benefits of slowing down and enjoying each other’s company; letting the flickering light diffuse our underlying anxieties.

So, adios Carmel! I’ll be sharing our new home on Instagram in the coming weeks. But, in the meantime, if you’re local or familiar to the Marin area, send me your North Bay recs!

Thank you to Vermont Farm Table, a small and dedicated company I am proud to work with, who gifted me this gorgeous dining table. Thanks for supporting the brands that support me! 

7 comments on “On Candlelight & Not Worrying So Damn Much”

  1. So sorry about your last minute move! Your place in Carmel was stunning and I’d miss seeing it ?. But congrats on the new move. And cheers to a new chapter. Can’t wait to see the new place.

    1. Thanks, Christie! Maybe I’ll share the full house tour I had meant to post before we moved! We miss some aspects of the space but are excited about our new house- it feels like home already. Can’t wait to share!

  2. Omg!! Sounds absolutely stressful. So glad you’re getting settled into a new rhythm at a new rental! My bestest friend is in SF and I believe they pass by your new spot all summer when they head up to wine country. I’ll have to connect you two!!
    Sending love!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.